Night-Time Contemplations

Night-Time Contemplations
10/7/2006
Sitting in the dark of my porch
Coffee cup in my hand
Pin-pricks of light on a dark canvas
Fill the night-time easel above me
My mind wanders through my history
Thinking back to loves I have lost
Friends whose memories remain
But their faces have faded with time
I’m reminded of how fortunate I’ve been
How great my life has felt over these years
Faded memories of my past gone by
Coupled with the sharper memories of the present
All the choices I’ve made over those years
Right or wrong; thought-out or spur-of-the-moment
Each choice has changed me little by little
Molded me into who I have become today
Each choice can represent a crossroad of sorts
A point where I made a conscious choice
Between one outcome or another
A blind stab in the dark at what was to be
Each choice has changed me over time
For better or for worse, I can’t truly say
But it certainly has formed who I have become
At least from the outside of who I am
Deep down inside, I’ve still not changed
I’m still the same individual I’ve always been
A little battle-worn over the years
But still the same core of what I truly am
Staring at the dark canvas above me
Admiring the dotted masterpiece in the heavens
I slowly drift into thoughts of “what if”
Dreaming of choices I wish I had made
—-
Written a long while back, “Night-Time Contemplations” chronicles a single night during a particularly depressive period of my life.  During that time, I faced many personal choices and was fearful that I had made some wrong-turns in my Life that I would never be able to fully-recover from.  So over the period of a single night, I sat up and watched the dark outside, thought over my situations, and wrote this particular poem.

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