I read a lot of stuff about Technology. In some form or fashion, over the past quarter century, I have been employed in some manner associated with the field of Technology. I am a blogger. I am a podcaster. I noodle around with musical instruments and mixing sounds on my iMac. In the classroom, I teach students how to look at this technology as a tool that will allow them to reach into the future for what they dream about. And oddly enough, I follow a Belief System that holds a high reverence for things “natural”. There are no Gods of Technology. There’s no Patron Deity for the CPU. I feel just as “at home” and “comfortable” in a mainframe environment, as I do when I am out walking in a deeply forested area or hiking in the mountains. What a delightfully odd dichotomy.
So, with a focus on technology – it only stands to reason that I read a lot of technology blogs, articles and books. I also have a handful of video bloggers that I watch and listen to. One of these is Nixie Pixel – an extremely intelligent Linux advocate. She runs a very interesting and compelling Video Blog which has a lot of discussion on how Linux newbies can get started down that road. However, she also poses very interesting questions – such as one that came a few days ago:
Looking back on your career, twenty or thirty years from now, what do you want to say you’ve accomplished?
I read this, and brushed over the question as something mildly interesting. But, my little Elf that resides in the background of my brain kept pushing the topic back at me. Why did it have to just be my career? What about my life? Long after I pass on beyond the veil, what would I hope people say about me?
Now, I am not a person that likes headlines. I prefer to be somewhere slightly out of sight – able to work in the background and make a difference, but rarely known for what it is that I have done. I am a part of my local Pagan community – but a very small part of it. Most local folks would have difficulty picking me out of a lineup. The same holds true for the Pagan community in the online environment. Yet, I do run a podcast – and have been podcasting for quite some time. I write openly in this blog. So, occasionally I do place myself out in the sunlight for people to read and hear.
So, I attempted to figure out just what I hoped people would say about me thirty years from now. Or even ten years after I pass along the Path beyond the veil. And I am still at a loss for words. Perhaps, I would hope that people might say that listening to my podcasts and/or reading my blogs, that they found information that was helpful to them on their own Path. Perhaps there’s more than just a sliver of truth in that statement, but I honestly don’t see that as a driving force in my Life. So like anything else, I turn this over and over in my brain – trying to see it in a different light or perspective.
Last night, on Facebook, I saw a share of a link from John Beckett. He was sharing a link to a Patheos post from Niki Whiting entitled “Avoiding the Gods“. In prefacing his share of the link, he pointed towards a concept of “one’s Great Work”. Intrigued, I clicked on the link and read Whiting’s article. I wasn’t nearly as enthralled with the post as John was, but it certainly started me embracing the idea of looking at a different direction to try and answer Nixie’s question.
What if my focus on who would be talking about me in the future is the wrong point? I do write these blog posts to allow others to see where my thinking is – and hopefully be a signpost towards something to try or something to avoid for others. But perhaps that is not the focal point I should be asking myself. Again, I come back to one my troubleshooting skills that has served me quite well over the years — taking a problem and rotating it, trying to see it from a different perspective. And it suddenly came to me like a bolt in one of my dreams last night.
Yes, I do write about my dreams. I keep a pen and a notebook in the nightstand next to me, so I can write the moment I wake up. And if I find myself too groggy to do so – I grab my iPhone and make a voice memo to myself. And sometimes, the memory of what I dreamed about burns bright in my mind, long after I wake up. This is one of those particular moments.
The setting – which is my own internal Grove of the Heart, a place that I have created for myself to help facilitate meditations – was an extremely familiar location. Normally, this is where I encounter my Dream Crows – a flock of Crows that inhabit nearly every dream and meditation I have had. I have taken to affectionately calling them “the Squadron.” Normally, I encounter them here, but not in the dream last night. I found a shaggy looking man, with a close cropped goatee (I know – weird imagery) standing in the middle of my Grove of the Heart – waiting for me. he has a cloak made of bird feathers of all kinds, and is leaning on a very tall staff topped with the skull of some small animal. On his head is a helmet or cap of some sort with tall deer antlers. When he speaks its almost in a hoarse whisper. And after his singular statement, he turns and walks into the nearby woods, slowly disappearing from my sight.
What about the Gods?
Sitting here and typing this…I am still getting shivers from recalling this moment. Shortly after he disappeared, I woke up in a cold sweat, grabbed my iPhone and repeated the scenario I have just typed for you to read here.
Indeed. What about the Gods? I realize that it really does not matter what anyone is going to say about me – five minutes from now, five years from now, thirty years from now. If my words inspire others to travel their own Paths, that’s great. But that’s not the point. The point is that I live my Life here in this environment to make some difference for those that can get something from my words, but also to be an extension of the Gods – Crow, Coyote, Lugh, and any others that wish to take a hand in my existence. I am here to be one of the many that help do Their works, in whatever manner they want.
In thirty years time…five minutes from now…ten years after I pass beyond the veil from this existence – it does not matter what people will say about me. I hope that whatever it is, that the people are kind and loving about what they may say…but what truly matters is what I do for the Gods in my Life. Indeed, what about the Gods??