I have spent the better part of my weekend doing something I rarely get the chance to do: relax. Granted I have done some fiddling with a couple of databases, a handful of writing chores, and even went grocery shopping – but its been a slow weekend. After a handful of weekend trips, which included two sets of 700+ miles of driving, and a pair of plane flights – I have been glad to be home. Added on top of that was a nice little health scare, and I have really just needed the time to unwind. In the middle of the week, I finished my Bardic Grade review, which meant that a super long term project had finally been finished. And I breathe a deep sigh of satisfaction.
Seriously, life has a way of being crazy ups and downs that you sometimes have to measure against one another. Depending on which pile seems higher…you had a good week or a bad one. Really? On Monday night, I was having severe muscle tremors and a heartbeat that was racing so fast that I couldn’t get to sleep. Tuesday morning, after an hour and a half of restless sleep, I woke up and vomited. And I was in Houston for a work conference. I went to the conference, delivered the information that I had worked on the night before, left the conference, went back to the hotel, packed and went home. At one point, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Seriously. Wednesday, I spent the entire day trying to find things to do that would not induce too much stress, and settled on writing the rest of my Bardic Grade review. And it seriously was not stress inducing. My Bardic Grade studies have been calming to me. Seriously. And when I look back on the week that was, I see the bad moments – I see the good moments – and I throw the scales out the window.
Today, it has been a light, misting, coldish rain. Its the kind of day I absolutely love. For the same reason I love fog and the time immediately after a snowfall. Because its so QUIET. Its like life takes a moment to hold its breath. And in that moment, I soak up all that I experience around me. For me its like being Julie on the mountain in The Sound of Music – arms flung all the way out, trying to give the entire moment a giant hug while twirling around and around in a fit of passion. I’m not kidding! It really is that kind of moment for me. And I really need days like today to remind me of why each day is a special moment that I treasure and cherish.
The politics is thick in the air these days. With the current President and his administration of failures, its easy to see everyday as a moment in front of the Black Gate, just watching the troops marching past to spread their doom and fear throughout Middle Earth. But I do look around and see all the folks that are out there – with the same like mind, the same desire to live free, the same desire to resist in their own unique way…and for what? For a world where we have the freedom to choose, the freedom to speak, the freedom to love who we want to – all without judgment or derision from others. I have that dream. They all have that dream. We dream a common thread. So long as we do not let go of that thread….it won’t be easy. There will be a lot of hard work. There will be lost battles. But we can prevail. Together. And I can spin like Julie in the meadow, whenever the cool, misty rain comes through.
…and that health scare? That was completely my own fault. I spent the entire evening Monday working on the information I had been asked for – I drink a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper to stay awake in the evening hours. A twelve-pack of Dr. Pepper is not a good thing for a diabetic. My shaking muscles, my thready, high-paced heartbeat, the vomiting…. All symptoms of hyperglycemia – extremely high blood sugars. That will be another lesson in not letting my work come before my health. And that feeling of a possible heart attack? That was a VERY real reality.