What kind of Pagan are you? What type of Polytheist are you, if any? Do you honor your Ancestors? How often do you do so? Lots and lots of questions….how can you answer all of this?
Well, how about not at all? To be brutally honest, the only person you need to answer these type of questions to, is yourself. You don’t need to keep a log of when you visited that little spot in your backyard, and how many novenas you offered to this God or that Goddess. Because how you practice your personal Spiritual Path is your business, and no one else’s.
Not that long into my past, a co-worker who liked to come into my office and start long, theologically based discussions went this route with me. How often did I go to “Pagan church”; how many times did I recite prayers to my Gods to achieve some result; had I worn a path from my back door to the stone circle in my backyard with my visits, or had grass grown where I would normally tread? Was I hot or cold for my Gods?
I never really gave much of a response to the questions, aside from stating that I did do these things, but the frequency wasn’t the measure that I utilized. Instead, I measured my “hotness” or “coldness” for the Gods by my belief in Them. And I do believe in the Gods and Goddesses, and as distinct, individual beings. And as for the desire to pray for things, the Gods and Goddesses are not vending machines where I insert my payment via the whiskey shots that I leave for Them, and then click “22” on the number pad to get a candy bar. For me, that’s not how all of this works. Not any of it.
I don’t ask the Gods to intercede on my behalf. Well, not often. And usually that won’t happen until I have exhausted all the options that I have the ability to do on my own. My prayers to Crow, Coyote and Fliodhais are for understanding of situations or concepts – to be able to wrap my brain around things I don’t readily comprehend. I have no desire to be a beggar to my Gods. Rather, I want Them to help guide me towards the choices I will need to make with a better state of mind, a clarity I might not already possess — and I am under no illusions that I might not be provided that aspect of lucidity. I ask my Gods to guide me, not do the work for me.
As for being “hot” or “cold” for my Gods or my belief in Them…. Let’s just say that I consider this to be a rude line of questioning. My relationship between myself and a God or a Goddess is a unique one. Just as my relationship with another person is a unique one. My relationship will not be the same as someone else’s with that same God, Goddess or person. The “hotness” or “coldness” of that relationship is the correct temperature for that moment. And honestly, if its not – I would expect feedback telling me otherwise coming from the connection between us. And I have absolutely no desire to measure how hot, warm, cold or otherwise my relationship with the Gods is compared to that of anyone else.
Personal relationships between an individual and their Gods is – in my opinion – as sacred as a relationship between two lovers. It’s a foolish game to play comparisons between how I approach my Connectivity with that of someone else. Even when that person has a measure of Connectivity that is quite similar to my own. It may be similar, but each one is unique. And I would rather celebrate the uniqueness of each relationship than try to denigrate someone else’s Connectivity as not being exactly like mine.