From time to time, I find myself stagnating on my own daily Path. Let’s face it, the same old thing day-in and day-out can be a dull drag at times. Plus, I have run across folks who have this odd belief that when you work directly with a set of Gods, that life is full of excitement – like a Laura Croft adventure. The truth, its nothing like that. Sometimes, life, and even daily practice can fall into a rut of routine. The same offerings, the same prayers, the same tasks – lather, rinse, repeat. No ancient temples to explore, no epic tasks to complete which Bards will sing and regale the tales of. Just the same prayers, the same offerings, the same everything. Surely, a monastic life might offer a bit more, right?
But. I am not living a monastic life. I even have problems describing myself as a “Priest” at times (see earlier posts in this blog, if you’re interested in that). I am claimed by Crow. I do walk my Path frequently with Coyote at my side. And I still have coquettish flirtations with Flidais. These Three are in my life daily. But its not a glamorous thing. I do my devotions and prayers to each. I occasionally get my direct communications with each. Occasionally, I am given work to do. But I’m not becoming a wild activist trying to destroy oil pipelines or foresting equipment (though there is nothing wrong, in my eyes, with either of these things – particularly where Native peoples are brushed aside as if they were sub-human so that these activities can be done on their lands). I don’t lead a group; its not my calling, so I am essentially a Priest of one (which is where I think it should be, but that’s a blog post for another time). What I do, is continually explore who I am, what I am to be, and the connections between myself and the world around me. And all of that wrapped up with my devotionals to the Three that are in my Life.
And that routine does get dull. Like I said, not glamorous…nothing like people seem to bring about in their minds when they hear that you work with the Gods. Sometimes, that routine gets off-putting too. I have had thoughts during these long stretches of routine….
What the Nine Hells are you doing? ::What I am called to do::
Do you really believe this stuff? ::With all my heart and soul::
Wouldn’t it just be easier to go with the flow and worship a dead man on a tree like everyone else around you? ::Sure, but I would be betraying what is in my heart and essentially living a lie, just for the sake of convenience::
…and there’s more. But these will provide the tip of the spear, so to speak. I do have a mind that will doubt what I am believing, and question what I am experiencing. And all of that is part of the doldrums of the constant routine. I do crave new experience. I do seek out adventure. I do want to feel the rush of being somewhere new, experiencing something I’ve not been through before….and to be bluntly honest, there are times where I seek to be a Gandalf the Grey – constantly in battle against the evil of the world. But that’s the TV shows, the movies, and the books. And I do have to remind myself of this from time to time.
Life is not an adventure to destroy the One Ring and free this existence from an unimaginable evil. If it were, I would have already cut Donald Trump’s finger from his hand, with wedding ring still on it, and found an active volcano to throw that digit and ring into. But life is not that way. Instead, I bide my time until Donnie comes up for a vote, and will actively campaign against his re-election – provided that the Democrats will provide a candidate worth my vote.
But all of that is just an example – not what the post is about. My daily devotionals and prayers are my focus that connect me with Crow, Coyote, and Flidais. This is a daily process that keeps me grounded in what I believe, and what I experience. Yes, the same thing over and over can get dull, and begin to feel quite routine – until I start to examine the process in a bit more detail. An offering of a small shot of whiskey to Flidais. A handful of birdseed left in honor of Crow. Five minutes of a late evening staring up at a large, bright full moon to remind me that Coyote and I see the same thing that evening. Each offering has its own meaning, and each prayer said over those offerings can be changed ever so slightly – to make it new, and refreshing. And sometimes, rather than a prayer – an offering of a song or a poem. All of that changes the moment, redirects the energy from a long programmed direction, and adds a feeling of newness – without changing too much of the process so that it becomes unrecognizable.
Much like this morning’s small rainfall (less than .01 of an inch) provided a change to the local environment from the past few days, making small changes to my prayers and offerings is a refreshing draught against an oppressive heat of routine. The change of the process brings me new focus, allows for a different feel in the energies I put into my devotionals. I like to believe that it provides a much needed change in the interaction between myself and my Three from Their end as well. Personally, I think its far better than the same old routine…turning my devotionals and prayers into something as programmed as washing my hair. Rinse, lather, repeat.