Life is not a race. Its not about how fast you achieve something, its not about how many circuits you make around the sun while on this planet. Its about the experiences you have during this lifetime, during these circuits. I’ve been here before, at another time and place. And while I am aware that this is true, I don’t have to worry that I am unaware of the details. At that time, I was who I was. At this time I am who I am. And at a future time, I will be who I will be.
A short while back, this particular point manifested in my mind. Recently, I have been reading up on the concepts of past lives, reincarnation, and other similar perspectives. For those who are unaware, I am a firm believer in reincarnation. I believe we have all been here at one point or another. But where others will spout theories on the how and why of reincarnation concepts, I have no proof to back up my belief. I believe in the concept because it makes sense to me. I can certainly rationalize and expound upon it within my mind, but like most things in a religious or spiritual perspective – I have no desire to debate the issue. I will certainly sit and talk about the idea over a beer or two, but I have no desire to prove my understanding “right” or your understanding as “wrong”. I realize that for some folks that can seem unsettling, But I’m just not built to argue the rightness or wrongness of a concept for me beyond the point of my nose. So, let’s steer back to the point at hand…rather than argue whether the car we’re in is green or forest green, shall we?
When I took a long vacation trip up through the Rocky mountains to Glacier National Park, everywhere I drove seemed familiar to some degree to me. Every mountain seemed like home, every plain seemed familiar in my eyes. I know I have been there before. But that trip was my first to the area whatsoever. Two years later (last year) was another trip to the other side of those mountain ranges – Yellowstone National Park. Again, I got that feeling I had been here before – even though this was my first trip there. Even the alien landscape of Yellowstone seemed familiar, yet I couldn’t pinpoint why. In between those two trips was a trip to Mesa Verda, south of that area. And still, that familiar feeling of having been here before. I can’t explain the “why” of all of that, but I know the feeling of a place being “familiar”, and this was exactly that feeling.
So, I only found two concepts that might match. Either I was astral travelling in my sleep, or I had been here in a past life. And since I don’t think I could do much astral-style of work, even if I was hand-held and baby-stepped through a wonderful training on it – I could only hold one conscious perspective. Reincarnation and past lives.
I have heard tons of stories about past lives, some incredible – others spot-on. But when I have heard story after story of this person or that being Aleister Crowley or Cleopatra or some form of royalty or notorious individual….I can only come to two conclusions. Either the story I am being told about their past life is male bovine poo or these historical figures suffered from severe schizophrenia. And yet despite all of this type of evidence, I still believe in past lives and reincarnation, and I definitely cannot explain why I cannot be shaken from this belief.
Then again, what does it really matter?? I am not insisting that anyone else believe as I do. I am merely stating the way in which I see and interact with my existence on this issue. Besides, do I have to be able to spout endless vocal reams of theory, equations, and postulation to believe in something? No. Its what I believe. I can’t totally explain why, and don’t really see a need to do so. Nor do I really need to. I don’t need to dig into a past life to figure out if I made mistake in working some bargain with native peoples, and how I might work past it. I’m here. I’m now. I experience this. I was there. I was that. I did experience that. I remember it because its part of this existence. A previous existence has happened, but I don’t need to have a concrete connection to it. Just knowing it was there is enough, at least for me. A future version of myself exists as well, in another incarnation. But I truly believe that we don’t know much about our previous incarnations. So try as I might to compile information concerning what the future-me needs to learn from, its likely the future me won’t remember enough details to do much. And since I have no idea exactly who I will be in the future, I can’t just leave a note for him or her on the bathroom mirror for later. And honestly, it doesn’t matter. I existed here. And that, honestly, is enough.