Most of my work with Crow comes through dreams and meditations. Having worked with Crow for some time now, there is not a lot of hard work aimed towards determining that what I am feeling is coming from Him. But when working with other Gods, it is not really as easy to discern just who I might be working with at that moment. Take, for example, the past few months. I was “introduced” to what was noted as a “Warrior Queen”. Knowing only The Morrigan as having such a title, my assumption was that this must be Her. Visions and interactions were shadowy, and She was dressed mostly in black. However, the clothing was quite modern, and each time, Her hair was a different color – usually black or blonde, though there were a few times of brunette and red. None of that matched anything I knew of The Morrigan, but I also admit that my knowledge of Her is sketchy at best. to be completely honest, The Morrigan scares the shit out of me. I was not at all “thrilled” about this set of interactions or what might be asked of me because of it.
So what to do? Well, it was time to put the thinking cap on for a bit and think things through. I do not classify myself as a “warrior” of any sort. The US Air Force trained me to shoot a variety of rifles and pistols and provided me with hand-to-hand combat training. I was also handed the philosophy I continue to live by in physical confrontations – I don’t fight to win, I fight to survive. That makes any item within reach a weapon. But let’s be really honest. None of that makes me a warrior. I have fired shots at individuals that have fired shots at me – with the purpose of killing one another. Yes, I have been in battle before. That still does not make me a warrior. The Morrigan tends to call Warriors to her Battle-Standard. So I am fairly confused as to how I would be in that grouping. In essence, I am on shaky footing for understanding the “why” – and add to that, what knowledge I do have points elsewhere.
Many Polytheists that I have talked with crave contact with the Gods. Enough so, that some of them have acknowledged that they readily accept the first contact that they get as being who they were wanting to work with originally, only to find out later that they were not completely correct in their assumption. Folks, I work with two Trickster Gods, both of whom enjoy making a fool out of me quite a bit. All of that has taught me to be a bit cautious with any interaction I have with the Gods. Over time, I have developed a little toolkit that I find to be helpful.
First, knowledge is power or in this case, knowledge is the shining light to help get some answers. I journal all of my dreams and meditations, so I have a record of details, conversations and the such. Once I have that, I start hitting books, articles and even having conversations with other polytheists about what I am experiencing. And I journal what I glean from these efforts as well. I compare what I learn with what I have experienced – and note the differences and similarities.
Second, and this sounds fairly odd, but I ask pointed questions in my meditations and dreams. “What do you want with me?” “Why am I the logical choice?” “What are you offering to me in return?” In a weird way of thinking, your initial interactions with a God or Goddess is a bit like a job interview. Working with the Gods is a two-way street, and you have just as much ability and control (personal sovereignty as John Beckett would point out) to say no. Just because a God or Goddess appears and says “I want this!” doesn’t mean you just roll over and give in. And it definitely is not always a one-way street where they get and you give. It can be that way, but that throws so many red-flags to me that it would have to be a very “special” moment for me to consider. But that is me. every individual is different. Just as the relationship between each person and a God or Goddess is unique as well.
Third, is taking your time with the decision. Great, you have been approached by a God or a Goddess to work with Them. You do not have to give your answer right then and there. If They demand an answer immediately, remember – you do have the choice to say no. There are consequences to replying in the negative. They could choose to not work with you again, no matter how much you might plead. There are consequences to saying yes as well. :: looking over my shoulder at Crow and Coyote ::
I decided, in the end, to take my time with working with this “Warrior Queen”. I talked with a few friends who do work with The Morrigan and discussed the interaction with them. A few noted my military background, along with my experience in combat, as perfect indicators as to why She might want to work with me. But each of them also noted that the hair color differences, as well as the more modern clothing (which I can only describe as something out of a hunting sports catalog – mostly muted colors), might be indicators of someone else. A few interactions later, I found out the difference…
She sat in the middle of my Inner Grove, on the large boulder where I spend most of my time listening to Crow. Her blonde hair hung down from underneath a brown baseball cap. Leaning against the boulder was an older, worn bow, and a sheathed short sword. Her outfit was a black t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and black hiking boots.
“Are you The Morrigan?” I asked.
She leaned back and laughed heartily. “No,” she managed between gasps. “That silly Corvid told you that? You should know better than to trust a Trickster to tell you the whole truth!”
It turned out that she is a Valkyrie. And that the other visions were also Valkyrie, and thus the different looks. I am being nudged back on to my path. I am not a warrior, I am a Protector. My role is not that of battle unless it is necessary. In essence, I was being scolded for not taking better care of myself and not staying in the role I was meant to be. A friend had mentioned that perhaps this may have been Skaldi. When I inquired along that line, I was told that maybe She would take an interest in me in the future, but that was not the purpose of this.
Sometimes, you need to be nudged back into the Path you are supposed to be on. And sometimes you need to be reminded that you are not doing the things that you are needing to do. And here’s the best point of all – sometimes, your dreams and meditations may be an interaction with the Gods, and sometimes its just a reminder to get your ass back into your practice. The Morrigan is not a Valkyrie. And Trickster Gods….well, let’s just say I know better. And a touch of research, reference and conversation with others that know better – goes a long way.