Over the weekend, I went looking through my posts over the last year attempting to find a trend in what I was writing. I had hoped to be able to point to something that I could highlight and expand on here. Everything kept pointing to a different point from just a little further back. So, we will take a bit of a backward glance, back into my slight brush with The Morrigan.
To be completely honest, it was not really a brush. Not even a passing glance. I had been having dreams of a female warrior that kept telling me to get ready. Every single time I caught my shrouded glimpse of Her, She was slightly different. Different hair, different pose, different voice, different clothes, different weapon. Many other Pagans that I knew were getting similar types of messages and many were attributed directly to The Morrigan. I could not find a way to pinpoint my own in that manner. I discussed this with a few folks that I knew had been Called by The Morrigan to Her bidding. They agreed that my personal background would definitely be an area that could be of interest to Her needs. The dreams; however, did not have that feel. After a bit of continued searching and gathering my nerve to be demanding of a Goddess, I asked the direct question – are you The Morrigan? It turned out to be one the Valkyrie. And no, I was not being called to the Norse Path. I was being reminded that better health was a necessity in my life going forward.
Well, here I am, at a point far forward from then. A lengthy bout of pneumonia and a diabetic seizure have sapped a lot of my daily strength. I struggle one some days to be anything capable of what I was before. I am certainly feeling a lot more than my fifty-four years of age. As Indiana Jones stated in the movie “The Raiders of the Lost Ark”: “Its not the years, honey. Its the mileage.”
There was certainly a warning that was being provided by those dreams. I was being warned about my need for good health. Most definitely, I would never have been able to coax the idea that I was about to have my health wrecked and turned upside down; that I was going to need to make some truly radical lifestyle changes to my daily living. I had been warned. I spent more time trying to decipher who the messenger was, that I didn’t provide the appropriate context to what I was being told. Would I have been able to fight off the pneumonia that I contracted after my trip to Iceland, had I heeded what was told to me?
Well, hindsight always has perfect vision. I could have dressed far better for the trip. When I noticed a cold being spread among the tour, I could have taken better steps to deal with what was happening. Like I said, perfect vision. My diabetic seizure could have been avoided, had I not been planning russian roulette with my medications trying to figure out which one was triggering my edema in my feet and ankles. Again, perfect vision. Plus, had I been exercising better, I might have been able to solve both of these issues. Again, perfect vision.
I hear from a lot of folks that wonder what life is really like working directly with any of the Gods. Well, perplexing messages is one thing. Trying to interpret what you are told is another. But truth be told, in a lot of ways, its like how anyone else lives their life. There is just a little touch extra that you are required to do because you gave your word. Just like anyone else, there are great days when dealing with the God/s that call you, and there are days that are not so great. Why do it? Because I gave my word, and that means something to me. It may not be enough of an answer for someone else, but for me – its the appropriate reasoning.
So where does all that leave me at the moment? Do my Gods help me with getting on my Peleton bike and pedaling? Do my Gods help me to choose better foods for my dietary needs? No, not really. My Gods do; however, encourage me on the days I don’t want to climb on that bike. My Gods can quietly question my lunch and dinner choices, masquerading as the little voices in my head when I am standing in line at some fast food joint. Some might call all of that a mental illness. That I am hearing voices that truly are not there. ::shrug:: I am ok with that kind of criticism, so long as I am not impeded with my own approach to the Gods. You deal with the concept of the Divine in your way. I’ll handle it in my own way.
So, how do you handle the Divine in your life? Maybe you don’t have a God or Goddess asking you to work with them. Perhaps you don’t hear the Gods calling, and have that desire to hear Them too. Be careful what you wish for. 🙂 But even if you don’t have the Gods whispering in your ears, how do you approach the concept of the Divine? How do you work with the Gods when you don’t have Them working with you? Don’t answer that you don’t do anything. You do. You live. Think about how you live your life each and every day. How everything that you do connects with the Divine around you. THAT is how you live a life connected to the Gods, your own Paganism, your community, the Spirits of Place, the Spirits of Ancestor…we all have that divine spark within us. What matters is not how you grow that spark into your fire, but that you do. Don’t discount you because you’re not doing it the same way that I or someone else is. Value what you are, what you will become. You don’t have to have that same special connection to a God or Goddess to be who you are as a Pagan. You only have to have the belief and personal desire to be what you are. Be ok with the criticism that you are not enough of this or that in others’ eyes…so long as they don’t stop you from your own approach, what they say does not matter. And so long as your approach does not harm others. I may not be a Wiccan, but I do strongly believe in that aspect.
I think I’ll continue along this approach in the next blog post as well. Not really a second part….more like a continuation of the thought process. –T /|\