Listening to the sound of the rain falling
The patter tattooing the concrete outside the window
I can hear the sounds of cars whooshing on the highway
As everyone heads out into their lives with direction
I have felt so lost, surviving on a tide pulling me out to sea
Drifting aimlessly along the shore line
Not sure of where I am going or what I can do
Further and further away from where I want to be
Here, I try to sleep to the distant sounds of the trains
Nothing of what I am used to hearing or feeling
Sounds of video games in the next room
Or the bells from the cat’s collar as she runs down the hall
Yet, I am here….and still awake.
Being away from home is never an easy thing for a lot of people. The bed feels different. Even if you bring your own pillow, the sheets don’t have the same feel. The blankets don’t have the same feel. And if you have animals that like to hang out on your bed, nothing smells like them. The noises outside are different. Even the air in the room can feel different. For me, I try to fool my body and mind a little bit with white noise. Typically, I do this by leaving the television on with the volume down fairly low. But, the commercials tend to be louder…so there’s sometimes that jarring moment in the middle of the night when a particularly loud commercial comes on. With me trying to work through my own internal and mental issues…all of that just adds on to a lot of other things. With my mind racing, I tend to turn everything off and just listen. This morning, it’s raining. Not very heavy. But I can still hear it when I have the window cracked open. That act of listening helps me to focus my mind. And this morning, my mind is on home. I miss being home. Just a few days longer.