Through the process of reworking aspects of my Druidry to fit me, and not the other way around, I have hit one particular point that has become more and more important to me through each passing day. Boundaries. Not just creating my boundaries, but enforcing them. Every day, I run into another moment where I did not realize that I was allowing my boundaries to be bent or violated to a point where I was actually uncomfortable. Some of that…not all of it though…came from romanticised notions that I had of what Druidry was to be for me. So, lately, much of what I have been doing is a two-fold process of rebuilding my notion of what modern Druidry looks like for me, and how that interacts and informs my boundaries that I set in place for myself.
Since I started talking about this process of reworking my way through my own Druidry, I have had a few inquiries into what that process looks like. Well, reworking my way through my druidry had to start with one primary point – what am I looking to get out of the studies I am undertaking in the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids (OBOD). After that, I needed to take a stronger look at what kind of Druid I was wanting to be. Lastly, I will need to take a look at what may or may not lie on the road beyond here. All of that will help me to enforce what boundaries I hope to enforce within my life. As much as I want to say that I can divorce my Druidry from who I am, that’s just not a true statement. However, I am the one that provides the definition of what Druidry means to me, and how that defines and shapes who I am.
What Am I Getting From This?
What Do I Hope to Get from This?
I decided to add two titles to this particular section, because it is a two-fold question. What am I getting out of these Druidry studies? And what do I hope to get out of these Druidry studies? These two questions form the goals of where I am headed. And honestly, once I finish the Ovate grade – and if I get accepted into the Druidry grade – I will have to ask these questions again. Because goals change over time. Goals change as you change.
So, what does working through these Druidry lessons provide for me? Well, I am handed a different way of looking at things. A different perspective of the world around me through the same window I have been looking through. I am also provided with some tools in approaching that environment, as well as tools for approaching my own self. Many of the lessons provide challenges for me to work through/with, so as to open my eyes to a different way of seeing things. Honestly, I can’t go into too many more specifics, not without ruining the experience for others. That’s part of what a mystery school is about – keeping the specifics to yourself, so as not to spoil the entire experience for others. Because we don’t experience the same thing the same way. As for my hopes of what I get from all of this – well, my own personal expectations comes from wanting to find another way to see things. Because sometimes, we need a new approach to help us to see and understand what is in front of us. Thus far, my Druidry studies have constantly and consistently brought a different approach to me with which I work with.
I think its important to add here that all of this is my singular approach to my studies. Others will have different needs of their studies and will have different aspects provided to them through the materials. I can honestly say that no two people will get the exact same experiences from any set of studies that they undertake. Whether those be Pagan or mundane in nature.
What Kind of Druid Am I Looking to Be?
This particular question is part of why I stopped and started dismantling what I have already learned. My idea of Druidry and what I was seeking to be was a romanticised notion of what Druidry is. I wanted to be the Druid that stepped in to solve disputes, that Druid that had answers for others. Truth be told, that’s the romantic, druid, peace-maker, bullshit that really doesn’t do anything for me, except to place me in a spot where I should never be. In fact, that romanticised aspect of Druidry only helps feed into a mindset where my boundaries are constantly and continually violated in the name of the needs of others.
I’m not sure I have this little adage correct. But a long time back on my Pagan studies, I was told that one cannot be of adequate help to others when one is in need of the same help. Or something like that. For me, at this point, the best kind of Druid that I can be is one who points you to the help that you need. While I am picking up the scattered (and sometimes broken) lego pieces of who I am, it is really difficult to be in a position to help others with finding ways to put things together in their own lives. My desire is to be a mentor to those first starting in their Pagan Paths, helping them sidestep some of the major potholes that are out there, and getting them to the mentors/teachers that they need. I am not the final stop for any learner (no teacher really is), but I remember quite well how confused and alone I felt on my Path in the very beginnings. The kind of Druid that I hope to be is more of gentle guide/mentor, helping others to find their own Paths that work for them. That doesn’t mean that anyone who comes to me for that kind of assistance would automatically be pointed to Druidry. Just because this is the path for me does not mean that I think it is the path for everyone. Hardly.
Now that’s where I hope to go with my Druidry. At the moment; however, I have the cart that is my Spiritual Path at the side of the road. I need to repair a few things before I continue.🙂
What Do I Hope to Have Happen Beyond This?
This is probably the trickiest question that I could ask myself right now. As I noted before: goals change as you change. However, where I am right now is where I will focus from. I hope to finish my Ovate grade and be allowed to continue into my Druid grade. I hope to finish that grade as well. After that, I am not sure. Maybe studies with another order – most likely not ADF. ADF’s focus is far more along the lines of ritual than I wish to go. However, I hope to maintain good and friendly relations with ADF members going into the future. They are just very different Druids than I am – and I am well aware of how different their direction is from my own. I hope to become a functioning Priest of some sort through my studies with OBOD or even within another Druidry order. However, that part of my Path is so far into the distance that I can hardly make out the footsteps that I may have to traverse at that point. That is an approach that I just cannot foresee at this moment. Beyond all of that, I have stronger ties that I need to make with Crow and Abnoba going into the future. My approach to Druidry is not going to blunt my relationship with my Gods, even when They have become quiet at this point along my Path.
Much of what I have explored here are personal perspectives and goals. Much of this is still evolving in my thought processes. None of this is really “final” in my mind nor will it ever be so until I pass from this plain of existence. And maybe, not even then. For that part of my Path, I have no idea what will take place. Sometime in the near future, I will need to stop, and take some time to reevaluate all of this. As I said, goals change as people change. I can say that much of this is not the goals of where I was, say, ten years ago. I am not the same Pagan I was ten years ago. I am not the same Druid I was ten years ago. I am not the same person I was ten years ago. My perspective was different then. My connections to the world around me were different then. Some of all that is still the same, but not much of it. We grow. We change. We evolve. We understand things differently over time. So, in the future (not so far away), sitting down and seeing how things have changed, how my goals have altered, how I have grown – all of that and more will need to be reevaluated. But for now, this moment, this is where I am.