Remembering How to Forget

Sitting on the back porch in the rocking chair
Drinking unsweet tea from my Nalgene bottle
Thinking over the past few years
All the sweat, scars, grim, tears, and sunshine filled clouds

Could I change anything? Should I change anything?
Why? What would any of that solve or resolve?
How much would making those edits change who I am?
Would revising the Past remove the lessons I needed to learn?

A few times, my daydreams have moved me
Deposited me into a world I have never known and never will
A life where meaning was derived from the day’s work
An existence without my Gods, a much emptier and quieter life

Another sip from the Nalgene bottle as my mind slips back to now
My friendly, neighborhood crow screams into the start of the evening
A strong gust spins the meter on the pole on the fence
The quiet whispers of a life ahead faintly surfing by in the atmosphere

Another loud caw from the crow before I hear his flapping wings
Neighborhood dogs bark in the distance
Reminders that there are chores to be done indoors before the dark arrives
Slowly I rise from the rocking chair

Its not the life I ever imagined I would have
But I am here and now with breath in my lungs
I can still yearn for a future that never happened
But that wish never came true when the candles were blown out
I’m here. Its now
In the distance I can hear the faint strains of Chris LeDoux

The mountains callin’ to him like a mother calls her child
He’s heard the call of the wild

–T /|\