Well heya…

This post is a day late. A day. Because I didn’t know what to say. Today…well, it’s not that different. I didn’t get a ton of sleep…and…well…life just sucks. But that happens….life isn’t always the best thing it can be. So…::shrug:: You just have to make due with the day you have…and put your best foot forward. Even if its not the steadiest. That’s today…anyways…

Folks are wanting me to spill secrets on what’s been going on for the last year. I would…except…there’s no secrets to spill. Life has been harrowing for the first six months. The second six months…well, I’ve been keeping to myself. I’ve not done a lot of things related to Paganism, aside from attending this year’s Gulf Coast Gathering, which was helpful. Helpful…mainly to my daily routine. Attending the gathering was helpful for me to put my life back together. it helped me achieve a set of balance I had not had in the previous time right after my stroke. Yeah, I spent a lot of time sleeping. I didn’t attend the nightly fires like I had done before. I spent most of my time attending the initiations for Bardic and Ovate grades. Other than that….I became wallpaper. I spent most of my time on my own. Which I needed. A lot of time thinking about my place in life. It was quite cathartic.

I found myself struggling with a few points I had previously had within my Paganism. No, I’ve not changed my philosophy about Paganism or how other people practice it. But I have approached the perspective a little different. No longer do I show disdain and disregard to people who practice different than I do. No longer do I avoid people who show a different style of Paganism from my own. Rather, I’ve learned to let them do their practice as they feel it should be done. And I’ll do my practice the way that I think it should be done. No worries. No qualms. No arguments. No disagreements. Its really that simple for me.

A year away from Paganism has taught me a lot about myself. Where I draw the line at. But also where I draw the line for others. I found that it was a lot easier to accept what others do as being “right” for them, not necessarily right for me. I didn’t have to push them away, just accept it as their way of doing things. Not everyone is the same as me. Thing that are important to them are not necessarily important to me. Its not worth the fight, the argument, or the struggle. Its just easier to accept it as a difference between them and myself…and move on.

In the past, I would struggle with how to accept certain aspects that a person practiced as being correct or right. I’d never conceived of the idea that their perception of reality might be drawn a little different from my own. I had a perception that I felt was correct for everyone…and by the Gods, it was correct! Except that it wasn’t. My perception was different from Joe Schmoo’s because Joe had a different experience. His perception was not the same as my own. Thus, we had two different perspectives on the same issue. Neither of us was wrong…for ourselves.

There will be a lot of people out there who disagree with me. I’m perfectly fine with that. We both have different perspectives on the issue. I’m not trying to tell them what is right and wrong. I’m just trying to live my own life in the best way that I can. Its really that simple.

So, this has become a harder reality in my life. Sometimes, my perception on something may be colored a certain way. That life, as I know it and practice it, may be different from someone else’s. That our perceptions on issues come from different perspectives. That we may clash completely over our standing on an issue. But in the end, we’re all just silly humans…living our lives the best way that we can. Sometimes in complete conjunction with one another…other times, well, not.

–Tommy