So heya….

Ok, I’m a bit late with this particular post…whatever. I wound up going on an appointment that I had forgotten…a trip to the doc. Once I made it back…it was too late to write. Then the weekend hit…and well..things get a bit jumbled after that. ::shrug:: What the hell…I don’t make money from the blog posts, and whatever fame you might think I get from writing these things…well, it doesn’t count for much. So there’s all of that…

Anyways…this week’s blog post is about how I am doing. Well…that depends on the day, more than anything. Today…its an ok day. Nothing spectacular. Nothing stupendous. Just a “regular” sort of day. Which isn’t saying much. There’s not a ton of things to get done. But there’s a ton of things to do. Like unpack…a year later. Straighten up the bedroom. Lots of things like that, which I am not exactly motivated to do. I mean…I’m lazy. Unmotivated…what can I say?

There’s not a lot that I can do though. Its over 100F outside, which makes it about 80F inside, if I’m lucky. I could crank the A/C down, but that’s not going to do anything…except cost more money. So I veg. And I wait until the evening comes. And then I spend time watching baseball. Until I have to hook myself up to my machine for the night. And then I sleep. Life has become a complete cycle. Get up. Unhook from the machine. Go downstairs. Eat a small breakfast. Go back to bed. Wake up around 10:30am. Putter around the house until noon. Eat lunch. Putter around the house until 5pm. Feed the cats. Eat dinner. Watch baseball. Get hooked up to the machine. Go to sleep. Next day…repeat the process. Occasionally, make a doctor’s appointment. Essentially, I’m waiting to die.

I know. That sounds so melo-dramatic. But its essentially what I am doing. Bad kidneys will do that for you. Essentially, that’s what I have to look forward to. There’s hope for a kidney transplant. But for right now, its a slim hope. In the meantime, I just hang on.

So what do you do when you have nothing to look forward to? You live each day – one day at a time. You can’t do anything else. In the mornings, I wake up and thank the Gods for the start of a new day. And whether or not I feel like crap or not, I approach each day with a fresh start. I have to. If I didn’t, I’d be dead. Yeah, its a short timer for everything. But its a timer I can live with for now. With the hope that something fresh will come down the pike for me. If I didn’t hold that type of hope out…I’d certainly be dead by now.

S, I charge forward….taking each day one at a time. Not because I have to, but because I want to. Because each day is precious. And deserves the respect that I can give to it – good or bad. And because I respect life that much. And because Life is what I have…

–Tommy