There were a lot of good statements that came out of the conversations at Many Gods West. This blog post is a continuation of writing prompts I developed while there, earlier this year. But this particular one came from a random thought that hit my mind during a large discussion panel and was prompted because of a statement made on the other side of the room.
Working with the Gods can sometimes place us in the position of being problem solvers. How can this come into conflict with our own personal limits, and does this limit our relationship with the Gods?
I wind up in this sometimes awkward position quite a bit. My personality is really that of a troubleshooter. I am always ready to solve a problem, and more than willing to make things happen without any of the typical tools. When I was in the military, I was prized for my ways of solving issues with unconventional (and sometimes illegal) means. My philosophy was that if it worked long enough for a real and correct solution to be implemented along side it – and then switched from the makeshift solution – then everything would be fine. I worked in Command and Control Communications, and my job was to keep the communications systems working so that information could flow…I just took it upon myself to add the statement of “by any means possible” to the end of it.
My concept of work responsibility has not changed much. I am still available to make solutions happen, utilizing whatever tools I have at hand. And to be completely frank, I tend to do the same within my own Spiritual work as well. No candles for a ritual? I’ll make due with flashlights instead (yes, I have done this). The wording for a particular part of the ritual is tricky and I stumble over it too easily. I’ll improvise or change some of the tricky wording. If the wording cannot be changed – I’ll spell it phonetically on an index card. To me, there’s always a solution available. It might not be ideal, but it works for that moment.
I also like to believe that my ability to problem solve is attractive to Crow, and is one of the reasons that our relationship works the way it does. And sometimes, I have been put in a position to problem solve, and found that the solution was not really palatable to a limit that I had. This has (three different times now) placed me in a somewhat difficult spot of choosing between a methodology that I was comfortable with, and one that would be appropriate. Essentially, I wound up in a spot where I could either say “no” to Crow or grit my teeth and step into a solution that might not be ideal for my own personal comfort level.
For me, it’s a tug of war between my own personal sovereignty, and my devotion to Crow. I want control over who I am, to be able to decide how far I am willing to go with this, that or the other. On the other hand, I am a Priest of Crow. Much like when I worked in a command post, my desire is to do the best that I can….even at all possible means. Which brings me to a clashing point of defining where my limits are, and performing my tasks as a Priest to Crow, where the two may collide.
Now, one can always say “no” to the Gods at any time. You run the risk of the God or Goddess taking no further interest in you. Or, the exact opposite. Where They become MORE interested in you and continually make Their request(s) to you despite your refusals. And one can always just say “yes” to a God or Goddess without perusing the details of what is being asked of you. But, without reading through the “fine” details of what is being asked, you may find yourself placed into a position where you just cannot do what is being asked.
For me, I have learned (the hard way) that is easier to stop (let me think about that), and look at what is being asked, as well as how it is to be done or any other relevant details. Check all that against your own personal limits – your sovereignty, if you prefer. And if you cannot do what is asked, state so. Give reasons why. Ask if there can be alterations to what is being asked. Try to bargain your way through to terms or methodologies that are better suited for you. But be prepared to also be told that there is no “deal” to be had. It’s either what is being asked, or not at all. And then you will need to really check your desire to do Their will against what you feel you are able to do (comfortably or not).
Will bargaining or saying no limit your relationship with your God or Goddess? That is definitely possible. So I would caution you to bargain or deny carefully. Weigh your options. Weigh the potential consequences. And choose your next steps gently…..