Over the last week and a half, everything I have written has come out like an uncompleted thought. Thinking about it, this tends to happen a lot around this time of year. Perhaps, I may utilize that as a short break in the blog’s postings. I’ll have to give that a bit more thought. However, that simple moment of intentional scheduling sort of leads me into what I wanted to write about – living intentionally within my Druidry.
There is no secret that everything in my life has come apart over the last six to seven months. All of that has worn on me like the weather will wear a stone smooth. This past year and a half has had a feeling of wandering aimlessly through my life – both mundane and Spiritual. I even went through a period of re-examination of my Druidry, trying my best to find where the fault with everything really lay. In the end, I changed a handful of things, but nothing of major distinction. Still, everything felt so rote, so much like life was on automatic for me.
Let’s face a major point in all of this – the past year of COVID-19 forced a lot of us to live our lives in a manner that was difficult. Yes, connecting with one another via video, phone calls, and even Email kept the feeling of solitude at bay. However, we are all communal creatures. Enforcing the COVID-19 standards took its toll on all of us. For me, it has meant not seeing friends and extended family for over a year. However, it was necessary – considering my badly compromised immune system. Now, as we all slowly get vaccinated, we have begun to emerge from our enforced hibernations with some mixed emotions as to how to proceed. Or maybe not, but I know that I have these emotions.
Thanks to Cat Treadwell, I have run into the point of living intentionally. The concept is nothing new to me. However, placing it in the context that I am going to be working with it will be.
What Is It?
Living intentionally is a conscious manner of living your life according to your values and beliefs. I have always tagged this within my mind as being tied to the concept of intentional communities, which are people who band together to live in a certain manner. Thinking it through in that manner, choosing to be a Pagan can be construed as choosing an intentional community, of sorts. Choosing to be a Vegan can also be thought of in the same vein. But just choosing is not enough.
I decided to be a Druid, after nearly twenty years of searching through the wider ‘verse of Paganism because it most closely fit what I believed in. I chose the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids (OBOD) because it was the most malleable to what I was wanting to do. To this day, OBOD continues to be the underlying basis of my everyday Spiritual practice. Over the last decade and a half, I have taken things that I have learned through the OBOD system and plied it into something that works better for my daily practice. I have utilized devotional practices to the three Gods I work with as a basis of everyday life. All of that is a part of living intentionally. Much of what I have written throughout the blog are my attempts to live my beliefs and my values in the best manner that I can. Its not perfect. It never will be. But I try my very best.
The COVID-19 hibernation has brought me around to other realizations that have needed to change. I have had to make decisions of what I am willing to tolerate within my life, and what I am not. As an example, I have DNA family that believe whole-heartedly in President Trump. They believe that the election was rigged. They believe that the January 6th insurrection was necessary and founded on sound principles. On all of that, I feel extremely different. I don’t care for having that in my life because I find it to be fundamentally wrong thinking. During the COVID-19 hibernation, I have had to place these people at arms-length or further. An intentional act of what I am willing to have within my daily life. Here, at the end of the COVID-19 hibernation, I have realized that more needs to be addressed as well.
Part of my personality, for lack of a better description, is that I try to be accommodating to everyone. As a prototypical Libra (right smack in the middle of the sun sign), I try to find balance in everyday dealings with everyone, including those that are diametrically opposed to what I believe. Why? Because I am working through a particular value that I have: that all people deserve respect, until they lose that through their actions. Circling back to the above notation, I have very little respect for those individuals that follow President Trump blindly.
In trying to live my life intentionally, I originally thought that this meant that I needed to find a purpose – particularly within my personal Spirituality. I have struggled with the concepts of being a Priest. The reality is that I am a Priest, and I am not a Priest. Rather circular, eh? I am precisely what I need to be at any time, at any moment. To quote one of my favorite songs:
Some of my friends had it worse–“Crashing Down“, TNT from the “Transistor” album
Some were better off than me
Hard to say who’s more fucked up
It’s strange reality
I’m thankful to be alive
I’m so lucky I can be
Anywhere at any time
No one to blame now but me
If I come crashing down
Where to Go From This Point?
I can’t really say that I know. However, certainly not into another full-scale examination of where I am on my Pagan/Druidry path. Been there. Done that. Frankly, it was a waste of time, effort, and energy. Perhaps, it will be a better examination of seeing where my value of personal hospitality should have its point of culmination. An examination of where my limits are would probably be a far more lucrative expenditure of my time and effort. In the meantime, I continue to live my life as the Druid and pagan that I am. I do not have to be like my other friends who are Pagans or Druids. I just need to live the way I need to. Living it consciously and aware of what I am doing, and where I am moving towards. Step one, finish my Ovate grade. Step two? Who knows? But it will be an adventure getting there.