Rabbit Hole: Days Between

Let’s hop on down the rabbit-hole of my thoughts….

Some songs just take a hold of you in a manner you can never foresee, but in looking back – you can understand. “Days Between” by the Grateful Dead is one of those songs. Yes, I’m a Dead-head. I didn’t start life that way though. I was very much into commercial and dark metal in the 1980s. Van Halen, Dokken, Ratt, Mercyful Fate, Metallica, Armored Saint, Motorhead, and many others were in my tape player. The Grateful Dead was a long way from that time frame. But as I expanded my musical taste, and started to understand the beauty of a well-played instrument, and the turning of an excellent phrase in a lyric, I eventually find my way to the Grateful Dead.

Days Between was one of the very first songs that I encountered via Phil Lesh, the bassist for the Grateful Dead. He had a downloadable version of the song on his Phil Lesh and Friends website, and I fell in love with the lyrics. And as I have grown older, I have found that the lyrics have a certain flair for parts of my own life.

Summer flies and August dies
the world grows dark and mean
Comes the shimmer of the moon
on black infested trees
the singing man is at his song
the holy on their knees
the reckless are out wrecking
the timid plead their pleas
No one knows much more of this
than anyone can see

Certainly an appropriate set of lyrics for a time such as the one we are in today. The death of Summer, moving into the cold clutches of Winter. We are seeing some of this in our current political climate, where the two candidates of the major parties are posed to take on one another in a battle of words that is seemingly already punctuated with insults. The attacks against character, ability, knowledge, and “correctness” for our current world situations are all placed into each side’s ballistas, which are aimed where such weapons can possible do the most damage.

In the end, the lyrics remind me that the moon will rise, regardless. That Bards will continue to sing their songs of hope and beauty – reminding us of what it is that makes us followers of our respective Gods, and why we tread the Paths that we do. Even in times like these, where we see disrespect for others, and the innocent cut down without a thought – in the name of one’s own internal hatred over some perceived difference.

When phantom ships with phantom sails
set to sea on phantom tides
Comes the lightning of the sun
on bright unfocused eyes
the blue of yet another day
a springtime wet with sighs
a hopeful candle lingers
in the land of lullabies
where headless horsemen vanish
with wild and lonely cries

And from Winter, eventually comes the hope of Spring, riding an unperceived tide, propelling us forward. Where the promise of the future sends the nightmares of today into the beyond. The Gods have been nudging us all to prepare for the coming storm. But behind that message concerning a coming storm, is the notation that things will change for the better. That the coming storm will provide the nourishment necessary to grow our future to a better place. That we will have to walk through our fears, through the times of injustice, so that we can help teach towards a better society. We have to face our headless horsemen on the path.

When all we ever wanted
was to learn and love and grow
Once we grew into our shoes
we told them where to go
walked halfway around the world
on promise of the glow
stood upon a mountain top
walked barefoot in the snow
gave the best we had to give
how much we’ll never know

This particular set of lyrics hits close to me. I have been on my Pagan Path since 1987. I never fully understood what I was trying to achieve or where I needed to be. I moved from Path to Path within Paganism, never finding anything that truly fit who I was. Eventually, I found my way into OBOD, where I have managed to find a Path that fits more of who I am, and provides a framework where I can learn, and love, and grow.

Polished like a golden bowl
the finest ever seen
Hearts of Summer held in trust
still tender, young and green
left on shelves collecting dust
not knowing what they mean
valentines of flesh and blood
as soft as velveteen
hoping love would not forsake
the days that lie between

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me some of the poetry that I had written on a BBS (Renaissance BBS here in Arlington, TX) because I had lamented that I had lost some of the stuff that I had written over the years. When I received it, it took me three days to get the nerve up to open the package. I was afraid of reading what I had written, because I didn’t think I would recognize it. I was correct in that assessment. Not only did I not remember writing these poems, I couldn’t remember “why”. In a way, it was frustrating to read something I had written, and not recognize it. But in another way, I had to remind myself that this was a part of my life that I had stored on a shelf. Occasionally, I would remember those times fondly, but only have a blurry memory of it. Which I still do. I remember myself as being a lot more arrogant than I am now, a lot more angry, and a lot quicker to step up for a fight over even the smallest slight. Yeah, a little overly proud. But I am sure that others may remember me in a far different vein too. After all, memories are subjective to the individual.

Yes, music is a big part of my life. Songs are constantly in the background. And every lyric holds a memory to the past. Some memories are covered in dust. Others are a polished sheen from all the attention provided to them. But each is still cherished, even if they are faded like my older faded and worn blue jeans.



Down the Rabbit Hole –A Short Look at Reincarnation Theory

Writing is a ton of hard work. Even when its not writing for a book. Or a magazine article. Or a research paper. Its hard when its just a blog post. Or a journal entry. It can certainly be somewhat tough to get the words in your head to flow through your fingers and through the keyboard. Honestly, its tough to come up with coherent topics at times. Which is why you are getting the blog post you are currently perusing. Because I cannot find the right way to say everything that is swirling in my head at the moment.

Its not like there’s not a ton of topics that could be written about. The trans-gender bathroom issue. But then again, I think everyone under the sun has covered that topic in about as many different manners possible. There’s the American politics scene. But then again, I would like to keep my dinner in my stomach, and not splayed all over my iMac monitors. There’s the shoddy manner in which my Texas State Attorney General is playing politics, religion and morality with his elected position. But all I can really do is hope that voters remember what tyranny REALLY looks like when they go the polls in the next election cycle. And to just be frank, I’d rather the voters make their own choices when it comes to things like that. I try very hard not to be preachy about politics these days.

But all of those topics are just “meh” for the most part. Definitely pots to leave off the stove. My interests are going back towards reading again, and mostly on topics like Celtic and Irish history, along with parts of Roman history. But none of that really lends itself to good topic writing. There’s only so much you can write about reading history…and to be honest, I’m not trying to dove-tail a lot of it into today’s societal outlook. There may be a few parallels, but nothing that I can conclusively lay a postulation upon. After all, my own thoughts are that today’s societal environment is today – what happened in the past is a different time frame and concept.

Which leads me down a different trail of thought. In approaching each day is a new moment in time, I realize that each moment is unique and will never come again. There will be similar points in time, but only similar. Each would be unique. If I look deep enough, I can find distinctive differences between the two points in time; even though each is quite similar in tone and feeling to the other. Which leads me down another thought path — perhaps the same can be said about each individual, in fact I believe that to be true. No matter how similar two people are; they are different people. But then, that makes me wonder aloud about the reincarnative process. If, as I do believe, many incarnations of each being happen on this plane of existence, would the returning individual be the same as they were before?

Let’s go with a totally out-there perspective:  many, many, many people have claimed to be a reincarnation of the famed ceremonial magician Aliester Crowley. Would they have to be EXACTLY like Crowley in their current life? Or would they possess only a certain aspect of Crowley’s, which would be combined with the rest of who they are?? Could they be a mixture of several different beings, melded together into a new essence?? Or just certain parts of various beings that are combined together to create a new matrix for this new incarnation?

This is why I don’t really like the idea of looking back into my potential past lives. And yes, I do believe that there are past lives within who I am. No, I don’t believe that every (or even ANY) of those past lives are of royal blood, or some “significant” individual (as “significant” as any individual can and would be – that’s a potential topic for another time and blog post). I’m just not all that convinced that knowing who or what I may have been in my past lives would be of any use or significance in today’s environment. As I said before, each moment may seem similar to one in the past – but each moment is unique. Knowing who I was or what role I had played in the past may be an interesting academic perspective…but I am unconvinced that it would play a helpful role in the “me” of today, beyond a “gee whiz” factor.

…and this is what I mean. This little rabbit hole lead me to here. Just be typing and thinking. Is it significant?  Perhaps not. Maybe it opens a perspective or a thought-provoking moment for you. perhaps it doesn’t. Much like John Beckett‘s “Nine Thoughts” perspective on his blog…I believe that this may wind up being a semi-regular feature. Down the Rabbit Hole…a glimpse into a random topic that’s on my mind. Perhaps, next time, we may explore the philosophical difference between the National League’s (American Major League Baseball) non-use of the Designated Hitter. Or maybe we will take a trip into the kitchen and look at some food creation I decided to create (and I make STRANGE food combinations just for the Nine Hells of it all). But regardless, thanks for reading…hopefully you found some of this fun and amusing. Not really sure of the informative part of it though…  🙂


–T /|\