I live in a small town near the Texas Oklahoma border about ten miles on the Texas side. In its heyday, when Oklahoma was still considered “Indiana territory”, Lindsay was known as a haven for gamblers and cattle rustlers. The close proximity to the nearly lawless Indian Territory afforded a quick getaway when the law pressed in. So, in a sense, Lindsay (where I live) and the bigger ton of Gainesville (just to the east of me) were considered to be frontier towns at one time. Raids by Indians – whose land this was before – were a frequent occurrence.
In many ways, the area is still a bit of a frontier town. Services are not as plentiful here. The nearest McDonald’s is about twelve miles away, and out by the interstate. You have to pass plenty of cattle-land before you get there. On my drive to the college, I can make out the water-tower near the school at about five miles (halfway). On the return trip, I can make out the water-tower and the steeple of the local Catholic Church at about the same distance.
Where I lived previously, you could easily make out the sounds of the very busy interstate just four miles away. Sirens were a daily constant down the busy neighborhood street I lived on. The feel was a definite suburban neighborhood. A very different cry from the sleepy little town I have chosen to live in.
I moved here for the quiet. I moved here to get away from the city. I moved here for the shorter commute to work. I moved here to get closer to my environment. I moved here to have the time to work more on who I am, what I want to be, and where I am meant to be.
And just where is that? Where does that center take me to? What am I needing to work on? What should I be doing?
I already have some of those answers. I need to be working on my Gwers – my Druidry studies. I need to be meditating more. I need to be writing more. Removing two hours of driving from my daily routine has freed up my time to do this. And I am learning to change my routines to add these. I need to be walking more, which means I need to adjust my time of waking and sleeping. That is being adjusted slowly. I need to be diving deeper into my studies…into my own Spirituality. This change is meant to help facilitate that. But mostly, I need to spend time achieving my center of balance again. Finding my inner peace again, while my immediate surroundings are pieced back together slowly from the move. Each opened box needs to be placed deliberately into my surroundings. Or be considered as to whether its contents should even be here at this point in time.
There is a line from the movie “The Last Samurai” that I carry in the back of my mind. Its a scene where Katsumoto asks Algren about destiny. Let me see if I can find this on YouTube, so that you may view it at your own leisure.
I am not sure of what my “destiny” is or may be. But I do know this, when that destiny is revealed, it will be because I am ready – not because I have stumbled upon it. And in some way, I may already be on it – and just not realize it at this moment. There are things I will need to work on where I am concerned – the manner in which I deal with people on a daily basis, being able to find my center and balance under the most difficult of moments, and being just myself – whoever that is. In the meantime, there is study, there is practice, and there is fun to be had. Not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily in equal quantities. Life most definitely is a journey – but it is a journey where I may only plan far enough for the next five footfalls. Anything beyond that is pure speculation….