Pulling the Stick Out of My Rear

Another question that comes up quite often in conversation is why Coyote, Crow and now Fliodhas?? My only response for this is….well, I don’t have the first damn clue to the “why” of it all. I tried to explain some of it about a month ago in a post. Perhaps a more interesting question might be why do I have two First Nations’ Trickster Gods interested in me? Which then begs the next question as to why I have an Irish Goddess of the Forest now interested in me? The answer winds up being a big shrug from me. Though, I would point to the Saturday night around the fire with a handful of my fellow Bards at the recent Gulf Coast Gathering as a potential explanation. We spent most of the night cutting up and laughing amongst each other. Our jokes and side commentary certainly brought us much closer together as a group then we were prior to the start of camp. In all honesty, in the dark by the light of the campfire, it was almost as if we each grabbed a hold of a common thread of mirth, frivolity, and inspiration. And we not only shared that moment, but it forged a bond between all of us that is almost indescribable. Given the nature of Coyote and Crow (among other Trickster Gods) and the manner in which laughter at the moment provides a strong feeling of ecstatic experience – I can only come to a single conclusion. That – for me, at least – my two Tricksters were showing me (us) a side of one another that could only be understood through our shared experience of the moment.

Before I started down the road of my Pagan Path, I was raised a Catholic, and even spent a little more than a year in the Southern Baptist world. Both experiences make religious rites and spiritual experiences into a very solemn, serious experience. There is typically no room for joking around, or even irreverence towards the moment. And when such experiences do happen, an authority figure will eventually come along to frown upon those moments. Piety is a very serious business, and one must not crack a smile when experiencing spiritual ecstasy of the moment. In a manner of speaking, its almost as if one must have a stern, stoic face when approaching matters where spirituality, religion, and the heart intersect. Of course, I am stretching this to an extreme to make a point…I am sure that there are moments of frivolity within both the Catholic and Southern Baptists faiths, though I am quite sure that irreverence is most assuredly frowned upon to an even greater extreme than I am projecting here.

When I did my first Wiccan initiation, waaaaaaaay back in the day, the initiation called for me to be completely disrobed – skyclad, if you prefer. I was a serious stick in the mud back then…quite the prude, if you will. After all, my background prior to being at this point (less than two years on my Pagan Path) was strictly from a background where nudity was frowned upon. So, the running joke amongst my coven mates (I found out about this many years after the fact) was how they were going to get me to disrobe, much less approach a circle of others who were also nude. Trust me, it wasn’t all that simple, but I eventually did so. I locked eyes with EVERY individual I approached. I never looked down, I never looked around. Looking back, I can laugh about how nervous I was about being that vulnerable in front of everyone else. And yes, I was very body conscious at that point in my life. I’m still a bit hesitant about disrobing in front of others, but I no longer have the body conscious issues that I had previously. Shit, I’m fat and I know it. LOL

Back in those days, I was always worried about how others may or may not perceive me for who I was. And I seriously laugh about that too. I had to have the RIGHT clothing for ritual. I had to have the RIGHT tools with me for ritual. The moment had to be RIGHT. Everything had to be in the PERFECT place. Otherwise, I felt that the ritual was spoiled and not “pure” enough for the Gods. it took a lot for me to overcome that. Now, ritual is more about honoring the Gods than it is about the exact perfection of this motion or the wording of these phrases. When I stumble on words or state something in the wrong order – I am quite sure that the Gods are laughing along with me. A little levity goes a long way to relaxing other people involved in the ritual. After all, they are probably just as anxious about the way they are handling themselves within the ritual as well. And that levity, the ability to laugh at myself, not taking myself that seriously — I have learned that from Trickster Gods.

IMG_0209Ritual is a moment where we honor the Gods, honor our ancestors, honor the Spirits of Place, and celebrate the turning of the Wheel of the Year. Its also a time where – if you are doing this in group practice – that we get together to celebrate our bond with one another. If we do that in an uptight manner, where we are not relaxed…it comes off as stilted and stiff. As if we are uncomfortable around those we are with. A little mirth goes a long way towards relaxing yourself, and everyone around you. Stop worrying about if – or when – you screw up in a ritual. Relax. be yourself. You screw up, acknowledge it, and step back up to the plate. if the candle won’t light, improvise. Just don’t light yourself on fire (or anyone else for that matter).

Getting upset because something didn’t work right or you stumbled over your lines…that just changes the energy within the ritual, and removes some of the relaxed aspect of what is happening. Honoring the Gods, Ancestors, Spirits of Place – that all starts with honoring yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And trust me…you’ll make the “O” face when you pull that stick from your rear-end. I know I did. But after removing that unbending aspect of myself…I can certainly walk a lot easier now.


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