Why the Irish Goddess? The Start of My Process of Inquiry

All right…thank you for the Emails folks.  I will write more often than I have been as has been asked by a group of folks. And staying with the requests…let’s move on from politics, and talk about some other stuff instead, agreed?

A few folks noticed a statement I made a while back about how I was confused that an Irish Goddess of the forest would approach a Germanic kid like myself. Well, I’m not a kid – at fifty-plus (my fifty-first is October of this year) – and as was pointed out to my via Email, there’s a potential for a lot of melding of Celtic Gods and Goddesses throughout much of the cultures within the islands and mainland Europe. Much like the intermingling of Roman Gods, Goddesses, and cultural influences during the expansion of the Roman Empire into the north and western reaches of Europe; there is a potential of similar intermingling of the Celts in a similar vein. Ok, I grok that perspective. And given that my heritage comes from a full-blooded German mother, and an American father whose ancestral tree traces throughout the central Eastern United States – there stands a more than fair chance that my ancestral DNA may be more than fifty percent in the Germanic vein.

Now, there’s some aspects that seem somewhat interesting to me. First, I am drawn with interest far more to the Roman civilization than I am to the Celt. My interest in Roman history goes far back in my life. When I was nine years old, my parents took me to the Base library numerous times. I was allowed to peruse the book shelves for things that would interest me, as well as look through Encyclopedias for information for classroom studies. Two topics piqued my interest:  nuclear fission, and the Roman Gods and Goddesses.

The first was more from a social perspective. The premise and potential for nuclear war in the 1970s was becoming stronger, particularly with the posturing of the (then) Soviet Union. The wild craze of building bomb shelters in one’s backyard had gradually died down, but there were folks who continued work in that vein. My seventh grade Science Project was a depiction of nuclear fission using dominos to illustrate how the method worked. Originally, I had attempted to add some of the more graphic depictions of nuclear devastation from the Hiroshima and Nagasaki attacks, but was rebuffed by my Sciences teacher, and opted instead for pictures showing the internal workings of a nuclear weapon instead.

MoonlightThe Roman Gods and Goddesses were something I stumbled upon in picking up some research on the Roman military itself. The more I read about the Gods and Goddesses, the more I realized that these were more than the empty feeing I got when attended Catholic church. The Holy Trinity didn’t speak to my heart. My parents were invested in me continuing on to Catholic services, so I was taken there from time to time. Later, I would be enrolled in Catholic schools, where the indoctrination towards the Catholic church would continue. I would be taught why certain services were held, and when. I would learn more about the Sacraments, and the concept of transubstantiation. None of this really called to me. Plus I still recalled in the book of my mind that there were other Gods and Goddesses that belonged to other cultures. I knew the statement of condemnation – “thou shalt have no other Gods before Me”…but I struggled with the idea that a supposedly loving God would condemn individuals of another culture to spend an eternity in a place of torment, pain and anguish – simply because they had no concept of the Christian God or the Christian practices. To me, it was antithetical to what the Christian beliefs were about (as I understood them to be): loving, caring, forgiveness…. In the late 1980s, I started exploring outside of the Christian faith and found Paganism…and learned more about it than an Encyclopedia Britannica had ever expounded.

That was 1987. Since then, I have explored many aspects of Paganism. And in this exploration, I danced all around the terminology that would open my mind to where I am now:  Druidry and Shamanism. But that exploration that I undertook is something I would never want to relinquish or forego were I given the chance to go back in time and do things differently. I learned so much more by traversing various areas, only to find that it was not where I truly belonged.

Over time, I have had two Gods that have helped guide me to where I am at this point in my life. Neither Wolf nor Crow have ever pointed me in specific directions. Rather, through meditation, dreams and subtle pushes in personal study directions, I have managed to make my way to where I am in Life now. I give thanks and veneration to Them for Their guidance. In return, I have my own appointed tasks that I agree to do. I am not compelled to do these things, I do these of my own choice.

That’s only part of the story that brings me to the here and now. There’s a lot more to it then this. Some of it, I am reluctant to pass along – not because its fantastical and I fear no one will believe. I am not worried at all about someone else believes of me or not. Rather, I am reluctant to share some of this, because it is private and personal to me. Not all of my story is for public consumption.

A secondary question that was brought to this – how does one get the attraction of a God and/or Goddess to themselves? Honestly, its a lot like falling in love with someone. If you spend your time looking specifically for an individual to share your life with – someone you can give your heart to – you will find it to be a difficult time. Furthermore, you will spend a lot of time compromising on various aspects and facets that you would want in a loved one – simply to fit them into your life. You’ve essentially created a human-shaped hole in your life, and then spend your time trying to reshape that template to fit the people you audition for that role. In my experience, its far better to not go into the search, and just live your life. When the person that is right for that part of your life arrives; you won’t need to reshape some template. You won’t even need a template. They fit into your life, and you (and they) will know its the correct fit.

In my personal estimation, finding a God or Goddess working through you in your life, taking an interest in you, laying claim on you….that happens the same way. Keep working on your Spiritual life. Keep doing the things that give meaning to you. Meditate. Do ritual – even solo rituals (this is where I was/am). If a God or Goddess seeks you out, you have the option of being flattered and still saying “no”. Take your time when you feel things happening. Do personal research on the God or Goddess. There’s a reason that I don’t heed the call of the Morrigan…I hear Her, but my Path is not with Her.

All of this is only a starting point. Please understand, I am not an expert in anything, except for myself. I know what works for me. I know what *might* work for me. I know what doesn’t work for me. Whatever those things are…the manner in which I categorize them (will, might, won’t) is not necessarily true for you. Explore. Granted, you might get your hand slapped for being in a place where you aren’t meant to be. Just apologize and back out. And while some might not agree, just remember to mind your manners when dealing with Gods, Goddesses and Spirits of Place.

Yes, I know this post opens a variety of different directions to move on from. One of those will be my exploration of my DNA, in relation to some of my Spirituality. I am not sure that there is that strong of a connection between the two of them, but that’s an uneducated supposition on my part. And as I noted – exploring suppositions brings a bit more information. It just might not be what I expect it to be.

One last note; and take it in whatever manner you would, working with your Spirituality is a lot more than just burning candles, chants, rituals, and meditation. There’s research, digging for information, and even getting outdoors in the dirt. Roll up your sleeves and be prepared to do some hard work…Spirituality doesn’t come free or easy.

So why Fliodhas (or alternatively Flidais)? Why indeed. its definitely time for some inquiry, research, and even some DNA inquiry. Time to go spit for Ancestry.com.


–T /|\


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