So….here I sit. Less than 24 hours from my coming stent in my heart. Yes, I am about to have a procedure done to my heart, which will have a 98% chance of making my life better. I wish I felt that it was going to be a good thing. I have this feeling that I am going to be in the 2% of the group. I can’t help feeling that way though. But I am told that it will be a helpful thing. Right now, I sit here with somewhere around 10% of my heart being open and useful. 10%. I feel it everytime I get up and walk a longish distance of more than 300 meters. My left leg begins to hurt, and I have trouble catching my breath. And its been getting worse over the last three months. To be honest, I’m a bit scared. 2% isn’t a lot to worry about….except when you are part of the 2%. The only way I’ll ever know is to have this stent placed in my heart. Yeah. I’ll be right there.

So, how do I approach this? Well, I could be all chicken-shit, and moan and whine about it. Except that doesn’t do much. So, I’ve kept my mouth shut for most of this. Until now. Now, I’m beginning to get scared. I’m not sure what happens after this gets put in place. Or even how much I’ll have to do to get back to a place where I feel better, Its an unending place of emotions and feelings that I just don’t want to process, but I’ll have to. I’ll have to.