Hate the MoodSwings, But I Have Leanred to Cope

About eight years ago, I went into see my Primary Care physician for my yearly “routine” checkup.  After a round of blood-work and a few checks on my physical self — I was told “everything’s ok” and sent on my way.  About four months later, I was suffering from the effects of the flu, and I returned to my Primacy Care Physician’s office and was seen by one of his partners.  She looked through my medical records and made one notation to me.

“Did Dr. xxxx say anything about your high glucose levels?”
“No.  He told me everything was ok.”
“Well, the numbers were really high, he should have ordered more blood-work to see about diabetes.”

So, to make the entire point a little shorter – another round of blood-work was ordered.  My glucose levels came back at nearly 600.  My doctor almost fainted when she saw that.  I was immediately given over to an Endocrinologist and thus began my journey as a diabetic.

My blood glucose levels are far better — typical hovering somewhere between 200 and 110.  That’s a wide number too.  Anything over 130 is to be considered too high.  Oddly enough, I’ve learned a few behavioral aspects from all of this too.  When my numbers are above 150, I feel lethargic and have difficulty focusing on the issue at hand.  When my numbers are below 100, I get very irritable and vocally combative with people over the smallest issues.  In both instances, I have learned to recognize these particular states and make appropriate adjustments.

Those states of being also play havoc within my Spiritual Life too.  The problem there, is that I am still learning how to make those adjustments within my Life too.  When I’m lethargic, I generally don’t have the get-up-and-go to maintain my daily ritualistic aspects.  I won’t go walking because I feel “too tired”.  With someone as stubborn as I can be…its just as hard to push me out the door to do those things that I normally do.  What makes it even worse, is that I am my own worst critic as well.  When I fail to do any of those particular Life/Ritual aspects, I then spend the times when I do have the energy and the pep-in-the-step beating myself up mentally – rather than spending my time enjoying what I am capable of doing that day.

With that in mind…the last two weeks have been particularly hard for me.  Over that period of time — including this morning — nearly every single one of my BGL readings have been between 245 and 201.  All extremely high.  With the SOLE exception of yesterday at lunch, when my BGL reading was at 124 – right in my target range of 130 to 100.  And I felt good yesterday afternoon too.  I got a lot of classwork done.  With the end of my current class looming on the immediate horizon — I need to start making tracks in the spot where I’ve really been dragging my feet.  And that’s whether my BGL numbers are right or not.

So, I decided to help make light of this particular issue within my next podcast.  Spiritual practice is meant to enhance one’s Life, at least from my perspective.  Its a way for me to connect with the world around me.  I’m not here to “control” anything — but rather to learn to co-exist within my environment with all the other aspects and individuals.  So, when you’re not feeling within “sorts” — how can one “cope” with that feeling without tipping the cart over?  From this single question – I’ll lay out my own plan for coping, and what I try to do to avoid taking my feelings/attitudes out on others.

In the meantime….I need to get back to my classwork.  🙂

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