All right. Well I’ve missed another Tuesday cycle. But I am writing, I promise that. And that’s a change for me. Yesterday was a visit to the doctor concerning my failing kidneys. It was a big moment for me. I’ve denied my failing kidneys for so long now, and apparently I will need to start the surgery to begin the process of moving over to machines doing that function for me. I don’t quite follow the entire procedure myself, but apparently its something that I am going to need – and need soon. Like within the next few months to handle the change appropriately. Its a big step…bigger than I had anticipated. And a step that I am not fond of making myself. But one I will need to do.

So, aside from some time being messed up for the blog, I’ll have to figure out how some things are going to happen. Not sure how its going to take, but its certainly something that has to be done. I’m already completing paperwork to declare myself as being medically disabled….something I have never thought of before, but it will be something that I have to do. Just not something that I want to do.

In the meantime, I am planning aspects of my life going forward. I still have a yard to maintain. I still have a swing set to get rid of. I still have a basketball goal I need to remove from the backyard. And all of that is due this coming Spring. After that, I can figure out how to handle the backyard circle, and manage everything in the garage. But first, I have to start this particular cycle within my life.

Its an odd feeling. Wondering about what life will hold for me in the future. I don’t drive as much as I used to. I don’t even leave the house without Pam. Life has changed a lot since my last days at North Central Texas College. I’ve lost somewhere close to twenty pounds. So I’m basically back at my high school weight. Right around 150 pounds. I probably look a little different than I did back in those days as well. I cough a lot more. I don’t get outside as often as I like. But I still have the love of my two kitties, Gabby and Raven. That’s more than enough for me. I’ll have to develop a walking trail…but that can wait for warmer weather. Right now, I just need to stay focused on the future.

It might sound like the beginning of a death sentence for me. Its not. Its a matter of radically changing my life. Getting ready for where I am going to be in the very near future. And adapting my life to this new lifestyle. Its not a death. Its still a life. Just a life that looks very different than I realized it might be,